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Nov. 11th, 2012 | 02:07 am

I'm still being asked and piqued about this to this very day over five years later. Five years! I can't think of many things within my life that lasted more than five years. A handful of friendships, a first love, and ranked just below these: a weird blip on the internet involving myself and a girl I knew and traveled with that enveloped itself into an LJ, one that refuses to go the way of every other LJ I've ever had in my life: chronicling a relentless revenge to hurt the girl's ego as tidy and simple as could be. A bit shameful but I refuse to give in.

Poor Emily, I'm not looking to be condescending by any means, but perhaps the bitter sensation of her in my mouth has melted into something I can draw a fond memory or two from. I was much different five years ago. She has to be different too. Maybe. I'm terrible with recognizing faces but my brain hasn't been able to make hers out for quite some time. The rest of it I mismatch for myself in my own head and tell myself there was still something nice about her.

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Comments {26}

From: anonymous
Date: Jun. 4th, 2013 07:24 pm (UTC)

I found this blog a while ago, but didn't bother reading most of the content. i got around to reading a lot of it after i browsed through the videos made by that gimmeaflake asshole on youtube. If there's any truth to the creepy pedophilia allegations against him, man...i feel really bad for his wife and kid.

I don't know about your experiences, but what's with all the videos of foreigners and their life stories in Japan? aren't the residents there even slightly annoyed that there are douchebags running around pointing and taking footage of people without their permission? I see asian tourists here in Canada snap photos, but never taking video. if i saw an asian kid pointing at a statue of a beaver then later post a youtube video called 'wtf canada' to encourage stereotypes about buck-toothed, maple syrup-chugging lumberjacks with pet beavers, i'd be fucking annoyed.

A friend of mine showed me the gainjin smash website and I couldn't help but see the money begging parallel between what transpired in your story and his life. i guess providing for his wife makes me a little more sympathetic towards him, but begging for donations online from people just reminds me of all the online charity scamming that goes on when natural disasters occur, and the whole situation just disgusts me.

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nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Nov. 24th, 2013 03:35 am (UTC)

I can't speak for anyone beyond myself, but I speculate they want the easy money from YT because some of them do make surprising income, and there is a demand for white foreigners in Japan discussing life over there.

I have one friend who uploaded and filmed the unforgivable videos if you're familiar with those, really nice guy and quite talented in music and other things, and next time he comes back to Oakland where I reside and visits my apartment, I'll ask about how much they do make and let you know. Carolyn has told me before, she'd likely be a better authority with the niche of foreigners in Japan, but I forget the exact figures. They are decent and if you're on the high tiers of views, one can live off just uploading videos fairly comfortably. A bit maddening sometimes but what can you do...

Thanks for posting and showing interest here, I'm still puzzled why I've kept this LJ here, but to be fair I reached out to Emily via FB to shut it down and publicize her good will if she wanted to respond...

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