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Sep. 21st, 2011 | 12:14 pm
music: David Gilmour - On An Island | Powered by Last.fm

without usual rambling dramatics, i'll be taking some modest credit for exiling emily off the internet, the only sort of acknowledgment i'll give way to myself before i move on. secret irc channels and witnesses to them aside at the time, saving myself from potentially construed illegalities, there's little reason to boast of anything else. the contributions to her exile matter the most too, i just wish i had the means to give due credit to those who both want and deserve it. i never cared for anything else and anonymity on the internet forever died just around the corner of when this comical mess of internet drama blossomed, but at least i adhered, or at least always tried my very best, to never desiring the pursuit of attention beyond colorless words and perhaps a few snapshots of myself here and there upon this journal just to at least prove i was a real person.

i never wanted or expected any of this to happen. it was fun while it lasted in a way and the complimentary generosity of support grown from this journal and friendships sewn from it will leave me grateful. i was never significant, just caught up in what was a stupidly amusing experience with a friend that drove itself awry in no particularly unique way except the magnetizing gossiping eyes abound, and took my time to play along at the bemusement pulled apart from all sorts of factors. i'm guilty of things but it's so irrelevant now, really, fuck it. i'm only really proud she's off the internet and her success or misadventures overseas are hers alone to ponder and criticize, just like my own life is equally off the radar of anyone but myself and perhaps those closest to me to give a shit. it makes me confused how this could have possibly lasted as long as it had but then it depresses me when i remember why.

so that's probably it. nothing really left to say or make public. whatever happens will happen. i was never used to this sort of attention and honestly it made me deeply uncomfortable when other people would come across me during a daylight excursion outside at school or wherever i'd be to recognize me enough to make a comment, ask a question, or muster even a compliment about any of this (it wasn't often at least). i tried a little to embrace it for a bit but my life was also a little different then; it's much more different now ornamented with these vividly aggressive facets and insulated challenges, my health being what it is, the static hysteria enveloping more than it should, so there is little left to add to what amounts to a "saga" in the most parodic sense. there are more important things in this world than giving the time of day to emily.

it was fun, though! thank you and goodbye.

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Comments {51}

nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Sep. 25th, 2011 03:07 pm (UTC)
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you've always been very sweet, thank you so much.

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The PS was interesting in light of ...

From: anonymous
Date: Oct. 4th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
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kynapple's shallowness can be debated but i don't know her, but having a "donate" button on her website for no other reason than to get free money for... not having money is a bit much. a lot of people don't have money these days, and i'm kinda sure most of them aren't in expensive foreign cities trying to be models or get into show business for pretty juvenile reasons. why do people like emily and kynapple deserve others people's money?

she's not shy about writing sad entries about her plight with a paypal donate button on the same page.

excuse-making and indirect hand-outs for undeserved sympathy is a sign of immaturity and ego

at first i said in my entry that kynapple shouldn't be attacked or anything negative, but the more we learned and saw, the more it doesn't make her look exactly responsible or flattering.

i don't care enough about kynapple to read her whole blog. it only mattered when she mentioned emily's lies and begging. then edited it. then edited it again. then deleted it.

she lost my respect when she had to edit her own blog entry to nothing because she cowered down.

i don't feel like she's entitled to my sympathy

come on, kyna. you're either really reaching for an excuse or you need to sit down and figure out exactly how ridiculous that sounds to everyone else.

did she admit this? if so, yeah, fuck it then. everyone else is losing money (or their home, or their job, etc...) or getting their work hours/pay cut, and a young girl living in tokyo spending $2500 per month on rent hanging out with a scammer like emily is the last on anyone's list to donate to.

i don't really care about kyna

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Re: The PS was interesting in light of ...

From: anonymous
Date: Oct. 4th, 2011 08:23 pm (UTC)
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By the way, I'm all for reflecting on one's actions and words and realizing they haven't been good ones. It leads to growth.

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Sorry to Keep Quoting

From: anonymous
Date: Oct. 7th, 2011 03:54 am (UTC)
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"I'd take it down and put it all to rest in a heartbeat if I felt she was genuinely remorseful not just for what happened in Tokyo, but rather for what really upset me from the beginning: taking advantage of our relationship and my trust in her to act like she acted and did what she did."

I wonder, if she really were genuinely remorseful, in her heart felt really bad about what happened between you two, but didn't know how to express it to you, or perhaps she's just too embarrassed to do so, or maybe she doesn't want to admit she did something wrong, even though she knows that she did, because it was just too painful.

Would that be enough for you? Or would you need proof? Would you need her to apologize to you?

You guys have grown apart now, and I think there's things to regret on both sides of the equation.

But maybe she's grown up just as you have. Shedding the patina of youth effects people. People in the lowest of circumstances can become remarkable. Maybe she's grown a bit wiser just as you have.

Maybe not, but maybe.

I often think, as relationships cool as we grow more familiar with each other, even sour, if somehow you're in a friendship where the person you once adored today seems like a disappointment and an annoyance, one thing that helps is to remember, what was it about this person in the very beginning that caused you to like and adore them in the first place? And then all you have to ask yourself is, is that glimmer still in them? And of course usually it is.

Maybe you guys can find a way back to being friends. I'm not sure it matters who makes the first move.

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Re: Sorry to Keep Quoting

nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Oct. 9th, 2011 07:10 am (UTC)
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i don't "need" anything from her or any sort of promise to reconnect our relationship the way it was (that's likely impossible) but i would warmly welcome talking to her if only once. i don't harbor delusions because i know what i did was wrong along with being ruthless at times, and i don't hide from that and at the same time wouldn't exactly blame her for wanting me to hurt for it. i would also imagine she is smart enough to understand my side of it but without any desire to forgive me for it either. beyond justifying or explaining myself, i think anyone reading this blog can figure it was engineered to be the way it's been as an expression of being hurt by someone close to you, someone you trusted, and used to destroy what i blamed for her behavior toward me which was her ego born out of her reputation and pseudo-celebrity idea of herself.

she doesn't need to apologize to me. in a perfect world, if she wanted to talk to me, all i would really want from her is to see she actually cares enough to do it with the intention of at least ending our relationship on a happier note than how we left it after i left tokyo to go home. there's little reason to expect she would want to reconnect and carry on another relationship with me at all. i know in reality she likely has no intention of needing to bother with me, at no benefit to her, so if she actually did reach out in a genuine way it would be more than enough to be impressed with the feeling she set a lot of issues aside just for me and just for the sake of the relationship we used to have.

if i didn't feel close to her or care about her, i wouldn't burden myself with still daydreaming about salvaging something between us if only to say we ended it years later on better terms than what it is. i know why we were dependent on each other here and there in our younger years, how much we had in common with interests, our lives, and our emotional struggling, and regardless of what happens, i never forget or learn to stop appreciating those feelings and memories.

i've not predicated anything i've done on this livejournal to be about pursuing our friendship back but rather just sometimes share my personal feelings out loud of guilt and more than anything wishing i could see she cares about the relationship we had to try to talk to me in a way that emulates that. to put it one way i would rather have something with her back than this livejournal. at the same time i have little faith she feels that way and has all the reason in the world to hate me, forget about me, and calculate that if i was so easy to cast aside and be made to feel so easy to throw away then why would she care enough about me after all i've done through this livejournal? for that reason i don't want to make any first move. if she's reading this or others reading this talk to her, she can gauge vividly enough what my feelings are, and if she wanted to take a step toward contacting me how and why i would appreciate it. if she did through some unlikely bizarro world scenario it would have nothing to do with this journal, not even really to do with our falling out, but everything, at least to me, to do with caring enough about our relationship we had before to actually wanting to tell her why it was important to me. i don't forget my friends or anyone else who broke my heart if they gave me some happiness or reason to have faith in myself, this world, whatever. even emily, even if we've long had no bearing on each others' lives for so long.

sorry to ramble so carelessly but thank you for bringing it up. i hope it answers how i feel.

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nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Nov. 9th, 2011 11:04 pm (UTC)
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what more is there to say or dwell on?

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Farewell - (Anonymous) Expand

whoa, the laughable, convoluted liar takes his final bow...

From: anonymous
Date: Dec. 1st, 2011 04:37 pm (UTC)
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You are a spectacular asshole, way beyond any spectrum remotely normal. Everybody else in the universe can see the obvious -- that Emily was simply moving on to another level in her career. Only the raging pink rasberry can't see what's staring him in the face. And why? Because he wants to credit his idiotic years of rambling, record-breaking, self-embarrassing stupidity..lol

Yes, do keep it up -- a monument to infantilism, to how far some guys can pink...I mean sink.

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Re: whoa, the laughable, convoluted liar takes his final bow...

nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Dec. 5th, 2011 03:08 am (UTC)
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i don't mind if you say i'm an asshole on my own blog but i'm not any liar. it would've been way easy to exaggerate or even make things up given the material i posted but i never went that route and neither can you show i did any such thing. i've been consistent the entire time because i've only said what's true so don't call me any sort of liar please.

i don't know what's infantile compared to emily. i live on my own supporting myself and my girlfriend and i came here to oakland 1.5 years ago with nothing but my car and clothes. emily goes to japan and lives off other people, scamming them, or otherwise has daddy pay for everything. how many kids her age could do what she's done, even avoiding any schooling, unless they had wealthy parents to spoil them like her? that is infantile. it's infantile when you're in your 20's, in a foreign country, yet still can't handle going to school or getting a real day job the entire time because daddy will pay for you to play pop star.

you seem bitter so maybe you have a relationship with emily or you (more likely) have one only in your imagination. if it's so obvious emily is "moving up" in her "career", then how come you are the only one making this absurd claim with nothing to back it up? i'd be interested; not even to taunt or post here but just out of morbid curiosity... will you help me out here?

i don't need credit for my rambling otherwise i would have milked it a lot more than i have. in reality i actually gave up a lot of "credit". i'll only take modest credit now for helping convince her to remove her own shitty videos and exiling herself from the internet but this isn't serious business around here. it's a livejournal with a niche audience about me publicly taunting and documenting her so why get worked up like this?

i'm not embarrassed, i think emily is embarrassed and feels this livejournal is a bane on her existence and sordid reputation. if someone irl brings up this journal, we laugh about it, i tell them some things i haven't shared here, and that is that. for emily this journal embarrasses her. for me this is just silly nonsense attracting bitter kids like yourself to come here and spout hyphenated insults like it has any bearing on me to feel bad or change my mind. enjoy the rest of the journal, i'm sure there is more you haven't read yet, and i bet you do enjoy it too.

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re: whoa, the laughable, convoluted liar takes his final bow...

From: anonymous
Date: Dec. 15th, 2011 04:35 pm (UTC)
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Oh no, how could I be so wrong. From the Pink, no final bow is possible. The very suggestion triggers another five repeat paragraphs of rambling self-embarrassment.

"i'm not embarrassed"
I hear you, man. We all do.

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Re: whoa, the laughable, convoluted liar takes his final bow...

nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Dec. 19th, 2011 08:38 am (UTC)
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do you come here to type these things and expect emily to find you on the internet to confess her gratitude for white knighting and fly you from spain to nippon? i don't get it. to be honest, i can't comprehend what you say either. you express yourself very strangely like you're trying hard to sound intellectual by stringing together words that project that but it just ends up coming off very awkward.

you don't need to be so awkwardly malevolent here, i have nothing against you because i find your behavior endearing like (almost) every white knight before you over the years. as far as a "final bow", i don't know why that means i can't respond to funny comments like yours, it was obviously in reference to entries. what did you expect exactly?

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From: anonymous
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2012 07:16 am (UTC)
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Well... shit. It's been forever since I've been here. I used to be pretty involved in this for some time. Something randomly reminded me, so I decided to check here to see whatever happened, if there was ever an actual end to this saga of sorts. No updates here... so I took a look around online.

I have to say, the idiot up there claiming she was moving forward onto bigger and better things in her career... seriously? She got a gig with that cam site, fucked it up. she got a job as simple as taking her clothes off, and somehow managed to get fired. She formed a band with a rather misguided but quite talented fellow... fucked that up as well. Ran off with a musician with some form of fame, formed a band... and still has gone absolutely no where with it. Their OHP is still rather barren, they play with no name bands when they do get gigs. I wonder how long whatever his name is will keep this up until he realizes Emily isn't that good of a lay or vocalist and finds a new project. Seriously, she had more chance of a real career years ago, but I think she's to the point where she's near-exhausted her options.

Oh and also, she sure does seem to love you fans oh so very much. What with the never making videos except for when she's trying to pitch something new for you guys to buy up. Interesting to see that she has pretty much made everything private on her YT though.

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From: anonymous
Date: Jan. 3rd, 2012 07:17 am (UTC)
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Oh, and Happy New Year Nick.

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From: anonymous
Date: Jan. 11th, 2012 07:10 am (UTC)
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Happy New Year Nick.

I am a little sad that the saga is over. This was some serious lulz time, lots of fun internet sleuthing and dirt to uncover. Anyone know any current bait? Or is the time of the internet weeaboo stars over? It does scare me sometimes how much I do have in common with Emily. We're the same age and have similar tastes (not in fashion FYI!!! haha) and it's scary to think how easily I could of been her. Not that I think I'd be famous, but that I could have used my interest in Japan to create some kind of fake persona in me that I could broadcast, either embarrassingly all over the internet or to, heaven forbid, people in my own life.

I think by sheer virtue of being that young and having access to, basically the world via internet, narcissism and ego-explosions ensue. I think that's kind of what makes the saga interesting, following the rise of the internet the past decade, particularly youtube how it's evolved. She is a marker of, really, the first generation of kids who have grown up in front of a webcam. It's a bit fascinating. Warrants a thesis. Maybe.

I think the fuckery is well toast. She's grown up (maybe, kind of) and reality has probably sunk in. A bit. That she's still in Japan is some indicator that Daddy's money MUST be helping her still. So who knows, but I will def check back at random intervals in the future!

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nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Jan. 11th, 2012 11:09 pm (UTC)
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happy new year to you too!

i know emily invented the excuse that her videos were her "persona", as a way to claim nobody can criticize her anymore, but that isn't exactly the truth. everyone acts a little bit for the camera but in her case, the overreaching sarcasm, bubbly obnoxiousness, and exaggerated claims about herself were long there if she figured an audience could coalesce under her projection of herself. she didn't do much of it to me.

in all honesty i believe if she wasn't spammed on 4chan and made a target there, she wouldn't have made it very far on youtube. i have a feeling she put herself there but i can't say i know it's a fact, except she did claim to be part of the "chan scene" (whatever that means) and 2ch around the same time as if it's some exclusive yakuza internet hierarchy. then there was the whole "halp me get to OVER 9000 subscribers" thing and i remember her messaging me about how ecstatic she was from the attention bubbling over to her... before she had to cry to her local police for protection from the scary internet trolls.

the parallel flourishing of web 2.0 and her pseudo internet "success" is a good point but my feeling is that it's a bad thing becoming worse and worse. i really hate it, not because of her, but in general. when i was a kid and adolescent, we had irc, livejournal, forums, AIM chatrooms, and websites and their communities. i'm not a fan of all this IRL faggotry asphyxiating everything it contacts like the midas touch of shit. it encourages people like emily and others to feed off the internet for themselves and give nothing back. even reddit has become a hobo corner for people begging for free money, and we now have a culture that further encourages everyone and anyone to think whatever they say, feel, or think is interesting to the rest of the world. for me it's not a good thing; i can't help myself from ranting on and about this bitterness i harbor toward what the internet i loved has become so excuse me. i don't think it's interesting enough for a thesis, it's a natural progression because too many people have this arrogance unleashed within their brain the entire internet is a free and easy audience handed to you with not even half the effort it used to take to earn one without it.

bitching aside, you're probably right and the best days of emily bashing and trolling are over, but to her credit she did succumb and took a metaphorical bow away. that was good on her. every lolcow or figure of scorn like her have their eras, but hers really ended years ago; i can't imagine anyone outside of here still wonders about her because she wasted no time completely ignoring her fans (other than promoting herself when convenient) when she found herself with gigs in japan (because non-japanese fans or success doesn't count). i frequent 789chan to swallow my fill of lolcow entertainment and trolling, and one by one the attention given to these people peak and fall with residual followers still clinging on like this livejournal. emily is no different but i'm sure she long stopped giving a shit, and is doing just fine pursuing her music thing in japan which is all she wanted to do. as long as she's off the internet i really mean it when i wish her all the luck in the world toward her pursuits, i don't knock her for living her life even with the spoiled advantages she doesn't deserve or earn.

sorry again for the very long reply but thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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From: anonymous
Date: Jan. 14th, 2012 06:00 pm (UTC)
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I know no one really cares anymore, but I thought I'd mention that it looks like the label Emily and Mikio were signed to may have dropped them:
http://emilyfan.blog11.fc2.com/blog-entry-185.html (http://emilyfan.blog11.fc2.com/blog-entry-185.html)

Now they're apparently with a label that can't even be found by google search. Heh.

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nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Jan. 15th, 2012 06:38 am (UTC)
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emily & oh sunshine fan blog?... sigh.

my japanese isn't worth much but it also seems to me they were likely dropped and going to something called "beacon label" which is unfamiliar to me. probably just mikio or someone's newly-existent boutique label made just for them. perhaps i'm wrong but as much as i've picked up from the japanese music industry, it was common enough for bands to make up their own boutique labels just for them, give it a name, and invent an entity to assign their music.

i had totally forgot the entire part about them being signed to a legitimate (if indie) label to sell records, because i had no idea they would ever sell any. wasn't their ep or whatever only available digitally on itunes? maybe on amazon? was it even available beyond japan? i have to believe any sales of it would mostly belong to overseas customers. i'm finding myself so clueless about emily even selling music because the concept is so absurd.

i mean it's cute she does these nothing lives with mikio and has a band name, but regular people who do this also have jobs and real lives. most of them just don't go very far but if her dad or whomever is paying her way has the money, then it's easy, but it can't buy her way out of the fact there are a million other bands in japan, some with or made up of foreigners even, that are infinitely better than her act and still won't make it.

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From: anonymous
Date: Feb. 13th, 2012 10:57 pm (UTC)
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damn its been forever since ive frequented here lol....I guess since this will be the last entry of the weeaboo saga, anyone know whats going on with emily, magibon, etc?

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From: anonymous
Date: Apr. 6th, 2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
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No idea what's happening with Magibon. I think she's still in Japan, but who knows.

As far as I know Emily's been dropped from her label.. not sure what else.

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From: anonymous
Date: Apr. 10th, 2012 09:09 am (UTC)
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if anyone is still here...

im studying abroad in tokyo and one of my classmates has been here for years and makes vlogs. he's even gone to one of those meetups for tokyo vloggers where he has met emily before. he said that her attitude was stank, but its ok because now she works at a call center where she has to sing over the phone and he frequently sees her at his old train station. thought it was interesting

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nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Apr. 10th, 2012 10:02 pm (UTC)
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these stories and sightings are becoming more and more like the way people describe seeing bigfoot in the forest.

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From: anonymous
Date: Apr. 12th, 2012 08:30 pm (UTC)
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It really is sad that Emily flamed out in such a public way. At this stage, with boredom of her existence being my prevalent emotion, I wonder why I was attracted to her in the first place, and if the glimmer I saw in a spontaneous girl was but an illusion. Did she ever have characteristics that might have led to her ascendancy and let her reach the dream she aspired to? Was it her lack of human kindness toward others that led to her downfall? Or was it but lack of talent?

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From: anonymous
Date: Jul. 10th, 2012 12:06 am (UTC)
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man, i used to lurk this place quite often. thought about this place randomly and decided to see how saga of emiry's massive failures had continued into 2012. i guess it kinda didn't. can't say it really makes a difference. though emiry seems to have faded away to nothingness, there always seems to be a new slew of creepy japanophiles tryna make it big or whatever. hrm.

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nick .

From: raspberrysyrup
Date: Jul. 11th, 2012 09:00 am (UTC)
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truth be told, i actually made an attempt to reach out to her a few months ago because i thought it'd be nice to close the lj, give her at least some credit to respond to wanting good or neutral terms with the past behind us, but i had little hope it'd go that way and that's okay too - even if i'd prefer endings to standstills.

i have zero clue what she does or what she's doing, nobody even bothers to update her music activities (if there even are any...), so her notoriety just fades out of existence like every flavor of the month riding the coattails of their brief phase of e-fame until they're scraping the ground bloody and bruised. she can't possibly believe she's too dignified, busy, or important these days, but she has her own life and i have mine. even her notoriety is long past interesting but i wasn't ever planning this lj to just remain a relic to this weirdness forever.

but hey, the offer is always there if she'd like to see the lj entries knocked away sans an entry detailing the good on her if she wanted to make some attempt to niceness. life is way too short for grudges but i imagine her attitude is fixed on ignoring this forever and not dignifying any of it by reacting or acknowledging anything. probably the only halfway intelligent move she made since our trip FIVE YEARS AGO goddamn time flies.

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From: anonymous
Date: Jul. 13th, 2012 04:11 am (UTC)
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I have a hard time grasping why you're approaching it that way, as an "or else" proposition. It seems as if you're holding out this fig leaf to her, and yet you pose the ultimatum that if she doesn't reach back, you'll keep this site up. If I were her, I'm not sure I'd reply to you under those circumstances.

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From: anonymous
Date: Jul. 13th, 2012 02:57 pm (UTC)
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Oops, confused my metaphors. Should have been "olive branch".

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(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand

From: anonymous
Date: Jul. 16th, 2012 06:16 pm (UTC)
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Mmmmmmmm new applemilk videos up! Go look! Cause you know.. lots of fans here.

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From: anonymous
Date: Jul. 19th, 2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
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eh it's just her singing the sunshine songs off-key/pretending to be indie.
I compared it with the MV version because I was curious if the original sounded that horrible. her voice sounds more soft in the track.

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From: anonymous
Date: Jul. 19th, 2012 09:46 am (UTC)
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To think if she only staid on youtube she most likely would have/be been one of those big "YT stars" :O lol

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From: anonymous
Date: Jul. 19th, 2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
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pretty much. it was really the only thing she was honestly good at. well, i don't know if "good" is the word. the thing about jvlogging is that most of it largely seems to be about self involved gaijin reveling in their specialness as a foreigner, as well as fairly superficial documentations of what living in japan is like, and their viewers living vicariously through that. speaking diplomatically, she fit that kind of role well, and had enough fans in her prime to prove it.

personally, i think staying off the internet is the best thing she could do be doing. she's had a large internet presence from a fairly young age, and i guess that sort of thing can be intoxicating. the fact that it backfired is unfortunate (for her), but actually somewhat irrelevant. at least now she might even be a semi-functioning person irl, with actual hobbies or some shit, instead of spending most of her time as a facade on the internet of all places. who knows.

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From: anonymous
Date: Aug. 8th, 2012 01:34 pm (UTC)
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So this is a bit of a longshot, but does anyone have a copy of emily's begging video or audio from it? Seems like it's gone from the internets, and I want to re-upload.

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From: anonymous
Date: Aug. 10th, 2012 03:49 am (UTC)
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I'm sure somebody must have a copy. Is this part of a degree thesis? If so, I think you need a lot of data, although I agree it is an archetype of a particular begging style. But it would be interesting to know if it was a successful ploy, who contributed, and how much, etc., in order develop a deeper understanding, or even to delve into what was going through Emily's mind at the time, and whether sympathy, camaraderie, envy, schadenfreude, or other emotions and motivations were involved in all that transpired.

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