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Aug. 5th, 2011 | 02:30 pm
location: United States, California, Oakland
mood: dopesick dopesick
music: James Blake - Air & Lack Thereof | Powered by Last.fm

is this a livejournal reserved for emily stuff or is it open to anything else with an audience? i know i can write whatever i please but with so much free time on my hands (for now) i thought it to be worth asking whomever still reads here. she is boring to me and her internets were defiled so hard so long ago and her existence on it these days has been upgraded to "exiled" for a while. to be honest i'm not particularly concerned with what she does off the net - being in an indie bandish indie band or whatever the fuck that's about - because it's really, really not interesting. she is not famous. she has no discerned audience. there is nothing wrong with what she even does anymore. if she showed her face on the net in any meaningful way again, the story changes, but for now she arouses nothing. times change. the only people who have it in them to care are those that knew of her when she was interesting. maybe my senses are mistaken... i'm not very good at this, so you tell me.

she had no idea who i really was even when we were friends. she used my pc all by herself with no eyes watching, but she was polite enough not to poke around it and find anything. she didn't know my aliases. she didn't know with whom or what i was involved in at the time and sometimes i wonder if she had discovered enough, if it would've changed her behavior toward me, changed everything that exists here, if she could have comprehended who i was a bit better to give me a little better respect for my human dignity. it's just a thought. my only thought about her in a while. i'm not better than her in any tangible sense of measurement but it isn't about that; you criss-cross with some souls in this world and there isn't a unified theory that suggests you will always lay on the same grid together; remember there is no grid in a woken world with oxygen.

real life and the internet. who i am and who i am more. the fascination still gets to me.

anyway if there is space for content beyond her (not necessarily about me) just let me know. if not leave it alone.

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Comments {2}

It's your place.

From: anonymous
Date: Aug. 7th, 2011 01:58 am (UTC)
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My vote on this is that it's your place here. You're free to change the curtains or get new furniture, and it might be a step in the right direction. You won't know unless you give it a try.

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